Have you missed me?

Sorry to have been away - I'm going to try and throw, at the very least, a "Thought of the Day" up, if not an actual post. On to today's...

So late last night I was watching MTV Cribs while I was putting together the most bullet-proof iPod playlist ever (no joke, there’s not one country song or one song you’d want to fast forward – it’s insane how good it is), and it was the episode of the guy on the Kings who was dating Elisha Cuthbert. Sure enough he’s leading us on a tour of his house while she’s lounging around looking like she may as well be a trophy or a decoration (albeit an absolutely stunning trophy or decoration).
This got me thinking (dangerous I understand); Do actresses that date or marry athletes ever rebound? I thought this because what the hell has Elisha done since that nice little run she had? I’m pretty sure the last time I saw her was when she made an appearance on last season’s “24.” Now this is a disaster because Elisha is one of the hottest women alive – and she’s now bound for a career of dating hockey or baseball players while taking small roles on “CSI: Miami” or “Medium.” Unless she shows her boobs – that seems to be the only comeback for these athlete-whores.
Think about it: Outside of “managing” the NBA All-Star Celebrity game and introducing a line of clothing that no one gives a crap about, what has Alyssa Milano done since she decided to tear through the National League’s top pitchers (12 people watched Charmed – it doesn’t count)? What happened to fashion model and actress Tawny Kitaen (sp?) after she married Chuck Finley (outside of kicking his ass)? “Left Eye” from TLC was part of one of the most popular hip-hop groups of all-time and then she burned down Andre Rison’s house. Janet Jones was an aspiring actress when she married Wayne Gretzky, now she’s famous for running an illegal backdoor gambling ring with The Great One’s assistant coach. Posh Spice is now (after weak album sales for the Spice Girls greatest hits) officially more famous for being Mrs. Beckham.
As I alluded, there is one way back: Show your breasts! Halle Berry was struggling to gain major roles after her divorce to David Justice, when she showed her breasts in Swordfish and Monster’s Ball and won herself an Academy Award. She is now one of the most sought after actresses alive (we’re pretending Catwoman never happened).
Was this entire blog my attempt to get Elisha Cuthbert to show her goods on screen? Probably. Are their holes in this theory? Without question. Should Elisha Cuthbert show us what the stick-swingers get to see? Probably couldn’t hurt.